Almost 90 years ago, two people struggling with addiction got together and determined that they would have to do two things if they were to stay sober and recover. One, they were going to have to give their lives over to a “power greater than themselves” and stop trying to live on self-will. Two, they were going to have to work with other people in need of recovery. These two men were Bill W. and Dr. Bob, the two co-founders of alcoholics Anonymous (A.A.) and early proponents of finding the right sponsor in recovery.
Understanding Sponsorship in Recovery
Sponsorship in recovery is all about working with others to help treat a common disease – the disease of addiction. A sponsor is someone who has been through the recovery process before and is now living a life that is free of alcohol and substances.
Most sponsorship is associated with 12-Step recovery as it is promoted in the program. Sponsorship in 12-Step recovery works when a sponsor (who has gone through the Twelve Steps themself) takes a “sponsee” through the Twelve Steps and shows them that style of recovery.
However, a sponsor does not have to be solely associated with 12-Step recovery. There are also sponsors in other programs like SMART Recovery and Recovery Dharma (though they may not be as explicitly promoted). There are also people in recovery who choose to make sponsor/sponsee relationships on their own. The key is that the sponsor/sponsee bond has one goal – to keep both individuals sober and on a healthy track of long-term recovery.
What Is and Isn’t a Sponsor in Recovery?
Some delineations should be made when it comes to who is and who is not technically a sponsor. For example, one’s therapist or counselor should, in most instances, not be one’s sponsor as there are some clinical and medical-moral conflicts. Also, they should exist to fulfill their very specific and important role in one’s life.
There are also recovery coaches. Are they sponsors? This is an interesting quandary because a recovery coach is (almost always) compensated for their time so they too may have a conflict of interest. However, in this instance, the individual needs to make the right choice regarding appointing their recovery coach as their sponsor. In many instances, having both is ideal.
How to Find the Right Sponsor in Recovery
Seeking out a sponsor can feel very daunting. Some people have equated it to asking someone out on a date. After all, the sponsor/sponsee relationship can become one of the most personal relationships both parties will ever have.
The key is to find a balance between rushing to get a sponsor and waiting too long. When seeking a sponsor, it can be helpful to see what their daily recovery routine looks like. Are they active in their recovery? Do they appear to be enjoying their recovery journey?
While not necessary, it can be very helpful to find a sponsor who has the same interests outside of recovery. These similar interests can help form a stronger bond and thus a greater sense of trust, which is critical. Lastly, a basic question, but important one is, “Do they have enough time to commit to being my sponsor?” If not, there is a chance that essential recovery work will not get done. Then, the risk of relapse goes up.
The Benefits of Having the Right Sponsor in Recovery
There is a chapter in the primary text of 12-Step recovery (commonly referred to as the Big Book) titled, “Working With Others.” The chapter essentially lays out the sponsor/sponsee relationship and why it is so important, not just for the sponsee, but for the sponsor as well.
The chapter begins, “Practical experience shows that nothing will so much insure immunity from drinking [and using] as intensive work with other [people in recovery]. It works when other activities fail… You can help when no one else can.” Sobriety is also just one of the benefits of having a sponsor in recovery.
Other benefits of having a sponsor in recovery include:
- Help with accountability
- Reduction in relapse rates
- Better connection with recovery communities
- Help with essential daily structure and responsibilities
- Strengthening of one’s spiritual life
- Help with acquiring addiction and recovery knowledge
- Having someone to rely on if feeling “triggered”
A Focus on Long-Term Success at Lantana Recovery
Recovery offers the opportunity to form lifelong bonds that would have never been thought possible while in active addiction. It offers the opportunity to expand one’s life and thus the amount of exceptional people that get to share in that life.
Here at Lantana Recovery, we know that recovery is like a roller coaster that has ups and downs. But, we also know that it is the best ride anyone will ever take, and it is always much more fun when it is taken with friends.
It is highly recommended that individuals get a sponsor in recovery. Many people balk at doing so because they feel that getting a sponsor is solely associated with working a 12-Step program. While yes, the primary program that focuses on sponsorship is 12-Step recovery, anyone can find a sponsor who is looking for support in their recovery (it may just have a different name). If you feel like you or a loved one are struggling with issues of addiction, mental illness, or both, we can help. You don’t have to do this alone. For more information about the benefits of sponsorship, please reach out to Lantana Recovery today at (866) 997-2870