Recovery is rife with paradoxes. For example, “you have to surrender to win,” “one day at a time for long-term recovery,” and “we suffer to get well.” Of course, the biggest paradox may also be the most important. That paradox is “you have to give it away to keep it.” This is also what becoming a sponsor is all about.
What Exactly Is a Sponsor?
The concept and act of sponsorship are relatively simple. However, that does not mean sponsorship isn’t a vital life-saving concept.
Sponsorship refers to the structured act of one person in recovery helping another. The structure is key here. A sponsor/sponsee relationship follows some essential rules of guidance. Generally, these are related to taking a sponsee through the Twelve Steps of recovery (though there are some more loose interpretations of a sponsor/sponsee relationship).
How Do I Become a Sponsor?
The good news is that it is not complicated to become a sponsor. There are really two main elements. One is that the individual has some time in sobriety. Two is that they are willing to help another individual get and stay sober.
To become a sponsor one first needs to be connected to a recovery community. How else are we going to find someone that needs help? This community can form itself while in treatment or by simply being around recovery meetings.
The next step is to make oneself available to others. We should volunteer that we are available if anyone needs help. In many instances, this is if someone needs help going through the Twelve Steps.
Becoming a Sponsor: How to Find a Sponsee?
Finding a sponsee usually happens in reverse. The sponsee usually picks their sponsor. However, a sponsee cannot pick a sponsor if they are unaware of that individual’s story.
That is why sharing at recovery meetings is so important. It lets other people know that we are ready and willing to be a sponsor. It also lets people know that we have gone through the Twelve Steps.
Becoming a Sponsor: Focusing on the Twelve Steps
The Twelve Steps are not complicated, as much as some people like to make them out to be. They are simply twelve points of guidance that will help to keep an individual sober. However, they can be a little overwhelming if they are tried on one’s own.
The First Step of 12-Step recovery states, “We admitted we were powerless over alcohol [and/or substances] — that our lives had become unmanageable.” Perhaps the most important word in that step is “we.” This is because recovery should always be about the “we” and never the “me.”
The aim is to help each other succeed in this journey, and again, the paradox is that when we help others, we are actually helping ourselves stay sober. The primary text of 12-Step recovery (commonly referred to as the Big Book) states, “Practical experience shows that nothing will so much insure immunity from drinking as intensive work with other alcoholics. It works when other activities fail… You can help when no one else can.” It is truly a two-way street of success.
Becoming a Sponsor: “Easy Does It”
Many people get overwhelmed by the idea of sponsorship. These people feel as though they could mess up and thus cause someone else to relapse. This is simply not the case. It is important to remember that becoming a sponsor is all about giving back. It is up to the individual if they want to take the guidance or leave it.
This is where the concept of “easy does it” comes in. The goal is to help someone get sober and thus in turn help us stay sober. It does not have to be any more complicated than that. It is important to remember that sponsorship is not guaranteed either. Relapses are a reality, but it is important not to get discouraged. The key is to get out there and help the next person who wants to get sober.
The last step of 12-Step recovery states, “Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these Steps, we tried to carry this message to [people in recovery], and to practice these principles in all our affairs.” It is the natural progression of recovery to help the next person. It is how the system works and has worked for nearly a century.
Long-Term Success With Lantana Recovery
There is a “Responsibility Statement” that is often read in 12-Step meetings. It goes, “I am responsible. When anyone, anywhere, reaches out for help, I want the hand of [recovery] always to be there. And for that: I am responsible.”
Here at Lantana Recovery, we take that responsibility seriously. Recovery is just over the horizon. A sponsor can help us get there. Sponsorship can help keep us there.
Sponsorship can be a critical part of recovery. This is because there are many benefits of becoming a sponsor, specifically how it helps the sponsor stay sober as much as it does the sponsee. It is also a great way to give back to the community and take the next step toward a fuller more rewarding recovery. If you feel like you or a loved one are struggling with issues of addiction, mental illness, or both, we can help get you on the right road to recovery right away. You don’t have to do this alone. For more information about becoming a sponsor, please reach out to Lantana Recovery today at (866) 997-2870.
